Divorce

Divorce is not between a husband and a wife. Although many people think that divorce is the answer to their marital problems, studies show that satisfaction does not increase with divorce but often decreases. A child's emotional, social and cognitive development is greatly affected as well. Society is economically impacted by the deteriorating family structure and importance of marriage. The devastating consequences of divorce effect the couple, children and society. 

After reading this week about marriage and divorce, my opinion did not completely change but was reaffirmed of what I know to be true. Marriages are meant to last forever. Couples should work through trials together, coming out stronger than before. When people divorce they do not report being happier than they were in their unhappy married lives. It is always better to stick it out than to throw in the towel. In a talk by Elder Oaks on divorce, he explained that there are three people in a marriage, the husband, the wife and the Lord. As long as at least two of them stay present, a marriage can always make it through. For me this means that divorce does not ever take place until both spouses distance themselves from the Lord. If one spouse stays close during the time of trial, they can work through and overcome the unexpected hardships that arise in marital relationships. "The answer is not divorce, but repentance", Elder Oaks boldly stated. 

Avoiding divorce takes work. In order to be worthy of a spouse that is committed, educated and wise, we must become such people ourselves. We must inquire well in dating and courtship, getting to know as much as you can about your fiancee's family. It is important to recognize what marriage means, not only the positive things, but the trials of raising children, finances and other trials. We must remember when considering marriage that it is a promise before God, or in other words a covenant that should not be broken. 

Couples often do not realize how much divorce effects the well-being of their children. I watched a video about a school that was specifically designed to help kids coping with divorce. Children often do not have anyone to talk about the divorce with as they are often forgotten in the background of so much chaos. Going between two houses is confusing for them. There is extreme stress and grieving that take place when a child's parents separate. They fear that they have been or will be abandoned. Even though they will not talk openly about how they feel to their parents, struggles will come forth in other ways. Their grades will usually drop for a time and their true feelings will come out in other ways of expression such as drawings. Children need to be reassured in these trying times and taught that divorce is not the norm but the exception to the norm. 

In conclusion, it is so important that couples weigh all of the consequences of divorce on themselves, their children and others before they decide to break a marital covenant ordained of God. Divorce carries long term heartache with it. The time that President Kimball foresaw has arrived. He said that "the time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of gathering evil around us." This time is now. We must be proactive in our rooted beliefs of traditional family union. Their is nothing sweeter than a devoted and eternal marriage. 

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